


Maybe I Just Wanna Be Yours

by VioletTea



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, Kinda, M/M, Requited Love, first fic, i still can't tag, taeyong is a good leader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-08
Updated: 2018-12-22
Packaged: 2019-06-24 00:19:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15618282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VioletTea/pseuds/VioletTea
Summary: Jungwoo wasn’t one to let his emotions run him. He smiled to appease and did his best to encourage everyone without his best interests in mind. But, there were exceptions to everything. His just happened to look like a bunny.





	1. 12 AM

Jungwoo’s dorm was far from everyone else's. NCT 127 and Dream were reasonably near each other, but to get to NCT U’s dorm it would take half an hour by car for both dorms. Jungwoo didn’t complain, though he did dream of being in NCT 127 or living closer to everyone else. Merely for convenience.

Or at least he thinks so.

But of the few times Jungwoo would enter NCT 127's dorm, today was when he would see Doyoung snuggling a complete stranger. Doyoung gave a wave when he saw him by the door, mechanic and insignificant, before continuing to dig his face deeper into the guy’s neck.

A bubble of irritation pillows under his cheek and he kneads his lip, eyes dead straight. If it wasn’t for the guy's bulkiness, Jungwoo would’ve knocked him out or at least beat him a bit, nothing too bad really.

However, he was built like an emaciated college student after finals week, even after dancing for years, and the bitter melancholy taste, whenever he saw Doyoung smiling with someone else was something he was growing accustomed to. Or he was trying to at least.

Unrequited attraction, he never liked the word love, was a messy thing. Jungwoo knew that. But he has fallen in the trap many times. He had crushes aplenty and they stung like a needle prick, but the number of times he has ever been in *(love)* can be counted with one hand, with a single finger.

Jungwoo swore it would never arise again after Doyoung was chosen for SMROOKIES before him and ultimately NCT. He would strictly be like a little brother and live on with his life as a trainee that may or may not debut.

The space he kept between them was a barrier Jungwoo wasn't willing to cross, as if he even took one step in front of him he would fall into a pit of misery. It wasn't his fault really. They were two male Koreans who were aspiring to become celebrities. A relationship would destroy everything they worked hard for.

Doyoung gave calls and messages, sometimes even treated him for coffee, but Jungwoo never talked to him willingly. There was always intervention by other people's parts and Jungwoo kept the topic strictly on singing. Dancing was out of the question. Not his words. Doyoung had said that to him one.

Yet when plans of his possible debut finally came forward, Jungwoo thought these interactions were inevitable. A little nerve in his brain would tell him he was happy and he would tell it to shut up. It wasn't true, not really.

Doyoung invited him to his dorm for food that summer, knowing all too well of a trainee’s hardships and Jungwoo had accepted reluctantly. But when Doyoung opened the door with his lilac hair, damp on his forehead, and the tiniest smidge of makeup still on, Jungwoo knew he was fucked.

During Boss promotions, he would stay in the bathroom every few moments to stay away from Doyoung. He had fantasies of the older male, simple sweet things for the most part, but they only unraveled in the dark corner of his heart and maybe the shower.

Worse for Jungwoo was Doyoung was shining then. The "idol" hair was gone in replacement for his raven locks and the uniform fitted his shoulders and thin waist unlike anyone else. From the glimmering silver pieces adorning his chest and fingers to the mild pop of color on his lips, Jungwoo couldn't control himself.

When promotions for Empathy ended, everyone was now on a loose break, days were filled with little meetings and quick breaks. Nothing more complicated than a few short recordings or V-Lives.

Jungwoo didn’t imagine being invited to a dinner party would be on that list. Yet there he was sipping on some juice Taeyong stocked in the. Lucas barges behind him, tearing his gaze from Doyoung's back when he pushes him gently aside to get better access to the fridge. He stood still after the younger moves along, rooted at his new spot for a minute longer. His chest was hurting harder than he remembered those months ago.

_Deep breaths. Deep breaths. Deep bre..._

Doyoung's face appears again, his lips pursed and his dark hair shading his eyes. A shudder crawls up his body. Why did Jungwoo choose to follow his advice? There must've been something else more relevant in his mind than...

“Are you just going to stand there?”

Jungwoo blinks. Everyone was scampering around the feast and fighting for the shining spot next to all the meat, even Doyoung. Johnny teased with the fork in his hand, waving it back and forth in front of his eyes. Someone snickers, probably Yuta, and without a word Kun drags him to the tables.

Jungwoo didn't feel much like eating and after finishing up his fourth piece of meat he rests his chopsticks. His eyes wander around everyone’s faces and Jungwoo finds himself staring at Doyoung. His doe eyes, crinkled from smiling so hard, was observing the buff stranger who was busy trying some kimchi stew. It must’ve been the one Doyoung made, Jungwoo muses, bitter.

He tries to distract himself throughout the party, talking, joking, and flirting like he usually did when there were worse things rampant on his mind. No one spares him anything more than a slight smirk and Jungwoo feels terribly heavy, a stone dragging down his gut.

Mark was unreachable, busy trying to shut Donghyuck up from telling anything mildly embarrassing, and Lucas was fooling around like he always did when he was around so many people. Jungwoo tries to snuggle with Taeil, but Taeil laughs and with a faint shove Jungwoo was off him. He almost asks to leave, except Doyoung was in front of him now, his eyes trained on him and him alone. His grip on his juice cup quivers under his stare.

“Jungwoo, did you check out the song I told you about?”

Jungwoo did and it was okay at best, but he nods gingerly with a small smile.

Doyoung goes on talking about other things and Taeyong gives him a tight squeeze on his shoulder.

Taeyong wasn’t a confidant by any means, but the man could discern Jungwoo was off today. The gesture was nice enough for Jungwoo to relax himself a little and he tries to get involved in some conversations, fooling around with the people around him.

It was a short glimmer of happiness before Doyoung declared he was going to bed.

“Don’t keep the kids up that long, its already eleven,” Doyoung yawned out.

He disappeared into their narrow hallway with the stranger in tow and Jungwoo breaks out a little hiss under his breath. Taeyong’s face scrunches the slightest when he hears Doyoung's door shut, but Ten catches his attention before he can possibly comment.

Donghyuck blabbers a little more, something about Doyoung’s nagging, but he sighs the slightest when the last of the meat is cleaned off. The manager for the Dreamies come in and they state their farewells with jokes and tight hugs.

Jungwoo takes it as his time to leave, but everyone else stays to clean up and he gets dragged along to wash dishes. It wasn’t a quiet job with Mark and Johnny in charge of rinsing the suds and he does his best to keep a smile on his face, giggling when he was expected to.

When Jungwoo was finally done lining up all the dishes in the drying rack, he lays down on the couch unhappily soaked and drained. The time was already past eleven.

The stranger shouts his farewells to everyone and leaves with bright eyes and a stupid smile on his face.

_Doyoung would be alone in his room right this instant._

When Jungwoo reaches Doyoung’s room dry and the slightest bit brighter than the guy who just left, he finds the older boy peering through his mini-fridge.

Doyoung was pretty, but his height and resting frown made him more intimidating than he really was and it was more of a blessing to Jungwoo than a curse. Fewer people to give Doyoung a second glance.

His eyes, almond-shaped and pitch-black, were searching through drinks and snacks. Doyoung doesn't seem to look anywhere else and Jungwoo takes a chance at knocking.

Doyoung turns around and his tight, pursed lip blooms into a gummy grin. Jungwoo takes it as an invitation and scoots beside him, looking over his shoulder to see the messy barrage of food in the fridge.

“What are you doing?”

Doyoung doesn’t say anything for a moment. His hand moves to the far back of the fridge and when he pulls out in his palm was iced tea.

“I was just finishing off a book. Taeil wanted this one,” Doyoung explained.

He pats Jungwoo, a light touch on his back before going to Taeil’s room, currently full of poor Winwin’s cries. When Doyoung comes back, he stays by the doorway watching him. Jungwoo would've preened if he didn't know better.

“Who was that before,” Jungwoo asks, his eyes staring at the Mark poster hanging above the bed. Mark didn't really mind this over-the-top display of affection for some reason. *Must be nice to be doted on.*

Jungwoo waits and imagines what he would do if he wasn’t hopelessly in love with Doyoung since trainee days. A turn of his head, tilting tothe side, and his sad ideas of a devious grin (everyone always thought it was cute).

Doyoung takes it, laughing with his hand over his mouth. Jungwoo remembers that useless habit after someone called his laugh obnoxious and he suppressed himself from pointing it out. He moves closer to him, taking a seat on the floor. Jungwoo could now point out the loose spokes of his hair and can spot the collarbone peeking out from his sweater, beautifully angular and soft.

His breath shortens, becoming ragged each millisecond when Jungwoo’s sight lands at Doyoung’s lips, chapped the slightest, but pinker than spring petunias. There was a burning, reckless picture in his mind, completely unattainable yet utterly captivating. Jungwoo traces his fingers on his own arm, imagining silky skin running down his fingertips instead of his own.

_This was getting out of hand._

Jungwoo blinks.

_How did he just make a pun?_

His thoughts ruin his dream further and he sees Doyoung attentively watching him. Jungwoo’s eyes race back to the silver door handle and his fist hides underneath his thighs.

“He was an old friend you might say,” Doyoung spoke in a light tone, his voice floating away to the little dream he created with the man. “But yeah. I think we're dating.”

He breaks out another smile and Jungwoo can’t help but follow. It was practically one of his instincts to copy someone’s happiness and today wasn’t an exception. Words pour out of Doyoung. Compliments, jokes, and little stories that Jungwoo has never heard of in the years he has known Doyoung. He watches his lips curve and his eyes shine, all emotional and whatever.

“He seems like a jerk,” Jungwoo mutters mindlessly after Doyoung talks about their first date at the movies.

He sees Doyoung flinch and Jungwoo has an apology on his tongue, ready to beg for forgiveness, but it tasted worse than bile, worse than being hopelessly in (love). Doyoung wasn't furious, he rarely ever lost his temper with him.

But, his eyes lost the galaxy, all the brilliant specks of dust, stars, and comets. He quieted himself, waited for Jungwoo’s words to fade away, and climbed up to his bed.

“You should go home now. Lucas and Kun are waiting.”

Jungwoo nods, but Doyoung doesn’t see it.

He enveloped himself in his sheets already, his head facing the wall. Jungwoo shuts the light and walks down the stairs. He knows Doyoung was lying.

Lucas and Kun were busy chattering with Winiwn, he heard them from Doyoung’s room. But it didn't matter, the look Doyoung gave him was heartbreaking enough and Jungwoo hadn’t even confessed yet.

When the manager leads him outside toward their ride home, he gets in the car and pulls out his phone. It was almost midnight, Jungwoo checks.

A sigh escapes his mouth and he looks out the car window. The night sky was black, bleak darkness without the luminescence of the moon. There wasn’t a star, after all, Seoul’s city lights were far too bright for any.


	2. 6 AM

Time drags along with little improvement. Doyoung was still in a relationship and Jungwoo still sits secluded in his room daydreaming all that could and couldn’t be.

He should say something to him so Doyoung can forgive him and they can move on. Jungwoo knows this, he has even been told this, but he can’t do it.

Lucas tried to make him speak up about it, but Jungwoo shook him off. Taeyong had asked Doyoung what happened when they were recording. Not a single word came out of his mouth and each second of silence struck Jungwoo of his mistake.

Life moved on all the same for him.

Until it doesn't.

There is a pause after, albeit a short one.

 

Jungwoo gets a call in the morning.

He was fresh out of the shower when Jungwoo sees his screen light up with Doyoung’s name in plain white letters. Jungwoo freezes.

His finger hovers over the red button and he bites his lip in consideration. He answers.

Doyoung didn’t speak for a second or two and Jungwoo stayed quiet too.

He doesn’t count the seconds or care about the seeping awkwardness from his phone. When Doyoung calls him, he had a storm raging in his mind and he unconsciously bites his lip as his fingers flex periodically.

His lip was flushed and bleeding when Doyoung’s voice finally comes through.

“You were right.”

Three words. Not the words Jungwoo believed he would hear. Not the words Jungwoo was hoping to hear since Doyoung noticed him.

“I’m sorry. I know you liked him a lot,” Jungwoo lied softly.

He hears a weak shuffle of sheets and a sniffle.

Jungwoo opens his mouth, ready to comfort him, but he shuts up.

Truthfully, Jungwoo knew nothing. His boyfriend must’ve been a jerk, but Jungwoo saw nothing. He had only made a slip of the tongue, not a close observation of his character. Affection was swimming out of the two’s eyes when he last saw them together. Appearances can be deceiving it seems.

“ He was,” Doyoung tries to begin. His voice cracks before he can finish.

“He had used me for my…reputation.” Doyoung doesn’t elaborate anymore and Jungwoo hears muffled steps. The smooth rush of sink water reminds Jungwoo it was still morning and Doyoung has yet washed up.

“Want coffee at the place down your block,” Jungwoo asks.

The invitation was random and fairly hopeful, but Jungwoo was ready to see Doyoung, ready to talk like they did before he fucked up.

Doyoung asked for some time to clean up and confirmed he would be there in twenty minutes or so. Jungwoo imagines Doyoung's bleary, doe eyes and thick eye circle, an image sadistically soft and powerfully delicate. They hang up on a light note, Doyoung's short bye echoing in his ears.

He should be happy for his breakup and he was, a little.

Except Doyoung never cracked his shell of aloofness around extreme personal matters. Doyoung wasn’t an android or anything, but it was rare for Jungwoo to hear him break down.

There was a rush of hurt and anguish from Doyoung's voice that made him wish he could beat that man to the ground, even if he was shorter, thinner and would ultimately lose.

But, Jungwoo was needed by his side and the feelings moving his heart shouldn’t make him step away from his first priority, making Doyoung happy. Maybe then he would win his heart.

 

The cafè was a good distance from his dorm, but Jungwoo needed to head to the gym today and an early morning jog never hurts.

He gets there before Doyoung unsurprisingly and orders Doyoung’s favorite, a flat white, and an Americano for himself before sitting outside the little store.

It wasn't really morning, a bit too early for the sun to rise from the clouds, but the sky was beautifully tinged with marble gray and the faintest hues of blue.

 _He would like it_ , Jungwoo mused with the smallest of smiles.

Doyoung arrives before his coffee goes cold in his hand. He walked slower than his usual quick pace and reaches his seat hunched in a drab t-shirt. With a small wave, he sits down and reaches for the coffee.

Jungwoo thought Doyoung would come with puffy eyes and a faintly pink nose. However, he seemed fine, dressed casually with a face mask clinging on his chin and the few parts of his face peeking out was as perfect as he remembered.

Jungwoo can’t imagine he was the same person on the phone. He hoped to help Doyoung, had wished for someone he can piece back together with kisses and be awarded the same devotion. This moment may have been the only chance for Jungwoo to be close to Doyoung like he wanted to and it all shattered down to the dreary hell of his heart before it ever began.

Jungwoo asked about the man and Doyoung’s voice was cold, an oddity to his usual interactions with him. Doyoung went on about how he looked through his phone and tried to message co-workers to listen to his music. _Kinda pathetic really._

Yet Doyoung must have been over him. The smirk lifting the curves of his mouth was amused not hurt. Jungwoo listens to Doyoung explain how the guy apologized and their mutual end to their relationship, without a single loose end from Jungwoo to use or elaborate on.

“It wasn’t all that bad, really. When I saw him on my phone, I think I was relieved to end things.”

“Why did you sound so dead?” He must have seemed worried as Doyoung immediately frowns.

 _He would be right._ Jungwoo was concerned, extremely concerned.

“I have a cold right now. And—,” Doyoung tries to say. He stops for a second, probably formulating each word into a perfect sequence like he always does.

Jungwoo takes notice of the small jut of his lip.

“I was more worried about us.”

The sentence sounded of a confession as if Doyoung was trying to recognize how important their relationship was instead of his relationship. _How delusional was he now?_

To repel the image of a blooming romance with Doyoung, he imagines unsightly things. Kitchen rats, sewage, hairballs, and the little-cobwebbed hole in the wall of his room.

Jungwoo can’t possibly give himself dead end chances, but that was a contradicting statement. His chest was fluttering too damn much.

They make up over their lukewarm coffee and dumb jokes that brought out Doyoung’s gums.

The sun finally rises when Jungwoo tastes the last bit of coffee.

But, his view of one person was the only one truly shining. Jungwoo can't breathe when Doyoung beams with the sunrise, the light reflecting against his wet eyes and the golden hue enveloping his left cheek and the soft corner of his lip.

He wasn’t ready for this, never was, but the sun continues to move along, shining on Doyoung.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NCT comebacks yoooooo
> 
> They are coming


	3. 8 AM

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit long, but overdue
> 
> Probably better than the first two though

Doyoung was back to normal and everyone looked relieved except for Taeyong.

It must’ve been in his leader instincts to worry. But Jungwoo can feel his gaze fastening on to him, more piercing than ever, anytime he interacts with Doyoung. He doesn’t say anything, never explaining any of the harsh looks and Jungwoo grows increasingly worried.

Taeyong was perceptive, after all, and he had plenty of things he didn't want the leader to know. 

However, Jungwoo doesn’t take any action to confront him in any manner. His unanticipated rebellious streak has bloomed and the thoughts Jungwoo tied himself to were loosening, unfurling. The risk of getting kicked out of the group would've wavered him before, but the threat was dull in comparison to his years of heartache.

Jungwoo joined SM through dancing, his interest growing immensely with time practicing in front of mirrored walls and alongside talented dancers from a variety of backgrounds. Performing was his favorite part of the idol lifestyle, but Doyoung doesn’t carry the same notion. 

Doyoung had already finished memorizing the new choreography for a year-end show and Jungwoo openly rolls his eyes when he races out of the room with a crooked grin and damp hair. 

A great look for him, Jungwoo thinks as he watches the lavender shirt disappear behind the door. 

Jungwoo ignores the growing smirk on his face and the heavy patter in his chest and continues to estimate the degree he should bend and turn to take his mind off of a certain boy, painting on a scowl as he does so. But Jungwoo catches a familiar pair of eyes studying him as carefully as his own. 

Taeyong wasn’t glaring exactly and Jungwoo doubts he possessed the nerve for deliberate intimidation. But his eyes sweep over his face multiple times, taking consideration of each curve and crook. His skin prickles when their eyes meet in the mirror. 

There was little Jungwoo was fearful of, but he steers away from Taeyong and walks toward everyone else, busy resting after the choreographer left.

Lucas was imitating Kun, mockingly as usual. Jungwoo notices Kun snorting from the sidelines, but tries to ignore the red crawling up his neck. It wasn't going to end very well. 

When Lucas begins to bellow "Fat Kun" around the small room, the latter chases him, but amid the loud noise Mark's giggles and Chenle's dolphin scream pierces his ears. Everyone else floats around a small bench with trivial conversation and Jungwoo takes in the sight of the mess of his group with a smile.

His train of thought swerves to Doyoung. Again. 

A voice teases him, bugging him to look for the gone Doyoung, poking fun at his infatuation with the older’s gummy smile, pretty voice, and the adorable way he pouts when frustrated. 

Jungwoo should really ask if anyone else had voices echoing in their minds.

He latches onto Mark instead of looking for Doyoung. 

Mark wasn't Doyoung, more muscle than bone and far shorter, but he was adorable. On instinct, an excuse rolls off his tongue, complaining about the freezing conditioner in the room and everyone else humors him with little nods and giggles.

Taeyong’s eyes are gone from him. 

Thank God.

He was busy fussing with a new spill on the floor and pestering Yuta to get off of a very tired Winwin. Jungwoo detaches himself when Taeyong goes out for a towel and takes a long breath with his thoughts wandering back to a particular person. 

Doyoung would be at his dorm by now. Maybe he should give a visit. 

When Jungwoo turns back toward the mirror, ready to go over a few more runs of the choreo he finds someone else watching him.

Mark has never been very keen, but his stare was unsettling and unexpected for someone who avoids looking at anyone’s face, not to even mention eyes.

“You used me to get away from Taeyong?” Mark said. It hadn’t been a question, but Mark wavers the end with more than a stroke of doubt. 

Jungwoo smiles at him, all teeth, before tugging his cheek with a coo. Mark shakes him off with a huff of annoyance, a wrinkle appearing above his eagle brows.

“Jungwoo, you know you can say anything to us. Taeyong kept wearing that look since yesterday. Is there something going on between you two?”

Oh, perfect, wonderful Mark. 

Jungwoo shakes his head with a pout and grins ear to ear to prove his faux happiness. Mark takes it like a fish biting off a baited hook. 

Doyoung doesn’t seem to do the same at his spot by the wall.

He didn’t see him come in nor did he hear his shoes against the waxed floor. Doyoung wasn’t suited like he always sees when he had business and concludes Gongmyung must’ve called. 

But, Doyoung was adorned with a petite ear cuff, a dainty silver chain hung by a steel pearl and his thin fingers were encircled in a bunch of thinner rings. Jungwoo watches the polished metal sparkle in the artificial light and then notices his slick gelled hair and the midnight suede moto jacket.

When would he ever wear this?

Taeyong's gaze was back on him, but Doyoung doesn’t notice the eyes flickering between him and Jungwoo. Doyoung gingerly wraps his arm around his shoulders and his breath brushes his ear when he moves closer. Jungwoo doesn’t flinch or shiver and leans into him, his hair rubbing the other's neck. 

Maybe he did it for his own enjoyment. Doyoung’s arm was thin, rather bony, but warm and Jungwoo loved anything warm and he quite liked Doyoung. 

Maybe he did it to kick away Taeyong’s scrutiny that goes away the minute Jungwoo tries to dig his face into the curve of his neck. 

Doyoung doesn’t move or shake him off like Jungwoo expected. Instead, his breath was going ragged and a peony pink was starting to color his skin.

Doyoung takes a step back, his heel clacking louder on the floor than Jungwoo can deem natural even with his dramatic antics. Nobody turns, however, busy conversing in their groups to care about the flustered male. 

Doyoung doesn’t meet his eyes for a while and steps farther away, smoothly nearing towards the door. 

Jungwoo ponders his reaction to his usual affection. To be frank, it wasn’t usual, but nothing too bad to raise suspicion. Yet Doyoung was flustered, burning like white wax under Jungwoo’s touch.

Jungwoo watches Doyoung tense, his wide shoulders hunched and his legs straightening into sticks, around the door. Doyoung leaves in an anxious hurry, but not before waving toward everyone else. 

He doesn't have any time to react because before long the choreographer comes back and everyone stands in front of the mirrors to try the dance once more.

Everyone leaves soon after practice ends, but Jungwoo lingers a little longer. He stares into the mirror, watching himself while struggling to come up with any thoughts that might have changed Doyoung to a strange, but an enjoyable flustered mess.

Jungwoo hadn’t done much. He wore his clothes, all baggy for practice, and kept his hair down as per usual. 

A single idea arises in his mind, bright, vivid, and utterly impossible, but it lingers, like the saccharine taste of Christmas cookies and summer sweets. Dreams were entrapping him again, Jungwoo chuckles to himself with dull humor.

His thoughts scurry around, one after another, but none stood out to him. Jungwoo sits himself down with a scowl and tries to remind himself how to start a relationship.

Doyoung had been nothing more than an unattainable dream until recently. Jungwoo remembers the little gestures he always wanted to do and the cliché dates he fantasized in his sleep, all impossible, but the idea, the skewed thought was enticing. 

It had turned bitter once, from unfair jealousy on Doyoung's debut and Jungwoo managed to shake the older boy off his mind for a period of time. His dreams were running further away from him alongside it and he remembers the painful nights and mornings he would stay in practice rooms. 

When Jungwoo was confirmed as a SMROOKIE, his family congratulated him among others. Doyoung had invited him out to eat and the hour they were together was enough for Jungwoo to fall in love again.

Now his fantasies of requited affection were becoming a reality, or at least in his mind.

However, Jungwoo was almost always on the receiving end of most things romantic. He asked out a guy in high school and it went sour once his parents found out. They weren’t against it or anything, but the guy’s parents were more than a bit forthcoming.

Calm yourself, Jungwoo whispers to himself. The little things always made hearts tremble. Jungwoo saw it in movies, read it in books, and experienced it himself before.

Doyoung had a unique way of responding to his jokes. His laugh was distinct, more pitchy than his usual voice, and the way he fell on his back with his mouth stretched wide.

Doyoung was also warmhearted, giving him snacks whenever he whined of hunger and always peppering him with the same hair ruffles he gives to the Dreamies. Jungwoo enjoyed the way he sometimes curled his fingers in his hair, his knuckles rubbing his scalp the slightest alongside his short fingernails.

He should probably confess already. It has been years since they first laid eyes on each other. Doyoung was still Dongyoung back then, the imposing confirmed member of SM's upcoming boy group and Jungwoo was stuck in his young age of rebellion and naiveness.

Things have changed. Jungwoo believes his chances increased and despite debuting a few mere months ago, he doesn't care about his reputation. Some fans have already speculated as much.

There was a click from the door, loud enough for Jungwoo to snap into reality. He looks up, turning his head toward the sound.

It wasn't Doyoung and Jungwoo slinks back the slightest until the dyed hair and incredibly expensive shoes settle in. 

His shoulder stiffens, hardening like cemented bricks.

Taeyong was an imposing person when he was trying to take charge. Around his friends, Taeyong would be nothing but smiles and sheer giggles yet Jungwoo can't remember how the older boy's lips curve into anything friendly. 

His eyes that have been watching him were sharper than ever. He doesn't say anything, but there was a barely concealed threat darting out of him. Jungwoo tries not to shudder when Taeyong begins to speak, his voice frigid and unempathetic.

"Whatever is going on between you and Doyoung, you have to stop it," He almost orders to Jungwoo. It

was worded more like a childish whine, though the tone of his voice prickles his skin. Jungwoo tries not to appear surprised when the words register, his mouth tightening into a wounded line.

"There is nothing," Jungwoo reasons.

Taeyong wasn't irked at his emotionlessness, but his eyes soften the slightest. He takes a breath, his chest rising higher and higher until it falls back.

"Doyoung was a mess before. He spent nights crying and crying. Honestly, I didn't like the guy he dated that much. But Jungwoo, I know you think Doyoung is perfectly fine, but he hides his emotions. He was a ghost around the dorm," Taeyong told him with his arms gesturing around the empty room,

"Doyoung needs a little break before going into a relationship again. I know you like him a lot, but I want you to think over everything."

Jungwoo should've known. Taeyong was the closest person to Doyoung in the group or at least a close second. He knows everything Jungwoo was left in the dark about. When he went to see Jungwoo, it wasn't really him. It was the mask he wears on uncomfortable TV shows, the mask he wears when the Dreamies asks if he was okay.

They weren't as close as Jungwoo had thought and it breaks his heart more than being told he couldn't do anything about his unrequited feelings.

Taeyong softens more, the straight back and perfect posture morphing into a more relaxed stance. He wasn't talking anymore after leaving the small atmosphere frigid, but his hand hovers over Jungwoo's bent back and he seats himself close to him on the small bench. 

Jungwoo can see the sympathy dripping out of his wide eyes when Taeyong looks at him and he despises it. He didn't need his sympathy. He needed an answer from Doyoung. 

Love shouldn't be this difficult. It was a simple question to answer a single emotion. If Doyoung said yes, Jungwoo would date him and they would live happily ever after. If Doyoung said no, Jungwoo would cry in despair, but nevertheless move on with his life.

Except love was incredibly complex. There is a reason why there are marriage counselors and why couples break up even after years of being together. Mutual affection can't fix every problem a couple goes through.

Taeyong eventually leaves. He was probably uncomfortable. Jungwoo didn't utter a word after he was done talking and they have never been incredibly close. 

When the door shuts with a small click, Jungwoo falls back on the bench, throwing his head on to the wall. He will confess one day. Without SM knowing. Without Taeyong knowing. 

For now, there was nothing for him to do but wait.

If it was love, Doyoung would come around eventually. If not, Jungwoo can watch him at least. He may not feel the same, but Jungwoo can wait. 

Time would eventually rip his heart apart.


	4. 10 AM

NCT U's comeback arrives earlier than anyone expects.

Or at least earlier than the fans' expectations. Preparation for comebacks usually begins at least a month beforehand. The influx of V-Lives was a telling sign to some, especially when members appear with hats and hoods.

Twitter was incredibly powerful as well, but it also serves to befuddle people. NCT Dream's comeback had stirred the resting fandom and the rush of theories was either reasonable or absurd. Jungwoo remembers some of the members laughing over a few and there were some good ones that are always brought up.

A week before the teasers get released for NCT U, Doyoung was at the recording studio waiting for him to finish. In the beginning,

Jungwoo hadn't understood how it would take so long to record a couple songs at first. Most songs were three to four minutes long so he had predicted maybe an hour or two for the entire process, but there were hours spent to just hit the right note or rap with a more fitting tone.

If there was the slightest mistake, they would be asked to try again and again until the producer felt it was right. That usually takes an excruciatingly long time, but there is a difference when he hears it again and he appreciates the criticism through his throat is sore by the time they have to shoot for the album jacket.

Jungwoo was inside the glass room, the microphone in front of his face, and his frustration was building up with each second. His voice couldn't possibly do all that he hears the producer asks(commands) him to do, but he nods anyway.

He needs to try to fix his problems. Giving up was a coward's choice after all.

Jungwoo tries and tries until lunch was supposed to begin soon. Eventually, he finishes his last few lines and the producer leaves for his break. He slowly drags himself out of the glass prison and takes a seat on the small couch.It would fit about three members, but Doyoung was laying down, freshly awake from a short nap.

He doesn't move when Jungwoo collapses on the blocky armrest close to his head and the arrogant smirk he has on his face doesn't comfort him.

Jungwoo pouts with his lip jutted out larger than necessary and Doyoung snorts at it, his nostrils flaring the slightest. He begins to move after and rises from the seat with a low groan before flashing a triumphant smile to him.

When Jungwoo slides down to a pre-warmed leather seat, he quickly averts his eyes to the covered coffee table. 

There wasn't a lot of food because the producer was scary, but he skipped breakfast and drank only a few sips of coffee before starting his recording. Long before he saw the food, the smell alone made his mouth water and his stomach whine pathetically.

Comebacks mean music, variety, and radio show recordings. Presentation was key in these broadcasts and to look good diets were included to any celebrity's regime.

Trainees that enter SM's "dungeon" are prepared to starve or go under the knife to "enhance" themselves, but everyone around him had never thought of themselves as fat or overweight until then. When these comments are thrown around, many take a deep swerve.

It was a known fact that SM was a flower garden and they took great lengths to keep it that way. Jungwoo remembers the dreaded scalings they had each month and the line of waiting trainee, haggard and trembling.

He was lucky to be tall for his age, mostly skin and bones since he was young, Dancing also kept most of his weight off whenever he wanted to treat himself. 

Truthfully, male trainees didn't have it as bad. He can only shake his head and sigh when girls' cries echo in practice rooms. Training to be an idol was an expected harsh lifestyle and he hadn't been deterred when he first set forth.

Debuting was another feat he would later learn to be far more difficult.

The silver chopsticks in between his fingers move lightning fast into Jungwoo's mouth before he can think twice about the possible stomach pains he would get. When he moves around the small array of dishes, mostly vegetables, he can't help groaning when the marinated beef enters his mouth. He continues to gobble up everything in front of him one pinch at a time, but he notices a pile resting on his untouched globe of rice.

Jungwoo doesn't remember placing anything down after slipping the chopsticks into his fingers. Everything in between them on reflex moved into his mouth. His eyes flit to the resting boy next to him without another thought.

Doyoung was resting since Jungwoo started recording. He gave some tips for him in the beginning, but he fell asleep a wee half hour before lunch. His eyes were currently on his phone still and he doesn't do much more than swipe around some book. 

Somehow Doyoung figures it out without looking away. His elbow nudges Jungwoo, ushering his hand toward the almost-towering heap of food.

Did Doyoung already eat before recording?

He doesn't seem to have. His cheeks were sharp and his wry arms look lankier than usual. Jungwoo watches him for a second longer before turning back to his meal.

The savory flavors lingering in his mouth bitter and the warm bowl in his hand nearly scalds him. He puts the bowl down, instead picks up a sliver of meat, glistening in its temperate sauce. For once he doesn't put it in his mouth.

"What," Doyoung asks, his eyes glancing up from the screen.

He was masking his exhaustion clearly. His voice had always varied depending on his mood, but during recordings, his voice was kept in top condition. Currently, his voice was off his normal soothingness. 

He had worn moisturizer, making his skin vaguely shiny to mask off his ashiness, but Jungwoo can spot weary lines growing.

"Eat something, you look dead," Jungwoo encouraged with a grim look.

Doyoung doesn't make a sound and his eyes almost immediately go back to his phone. Almost.

Jungwoo catches a tremble of his fingers and a glance, nimbler than any move he knew. Doyoung had looked at him or more specifically his lips.

But he goes for the meat and sits there, chewing without a sound as nothing happened. He was sure there was something odd, but when his lunch ends and the producer comes back to record they don't speak again and he deflates. 

Doyoung didn't spare him a single look until they finished their recordings. His eyes were trained at his annotated lyrics or at the producer, complimenting on each line or verse he sang.

When it was time for them to shoot their album jackets, Doyoung passes him water with a faint smile before walking out to find their manager.

This might be a weird push and pull Doyoung was playing, but the idea is hardly believable in Jungwoo's mind. Doyoung was sure of himself most of the time yet there was hesitation in everything he does in front of him.

Taeyong must've been right.

A week passes and the NCT U music video comes out with higher views than ever before, but they don't celebrate yet. Promotions were amusing to Jungwoo or at least they interested him when he was a trainee.

Now it's fun the first couple times he recorded for music shows until his arms and legs were beginning to drag him down like the strange sleeves and bracelets on his arms were weights.

Doyoung was mumbling profusely to Taeyong as they wait to begin recording and as per usual is hush hush. Jungwoo ignores them, choosing to dive between Lucas and Winwin.

Unluckily for him, he only knew a bit of Mandarin and loses interest in whatever they were saying once the PD ushers them to begin.

After another three performances, Jungwoo was beginning to feel his muscles burn. He starts sweating and tries to stand still to let the air conditioner cool him down. Doyoung was casting him a few looks, mostly worried, but Jungwoo avoids looking back. 

Jungwoo must've ruined some of his makeup because before long he sees one of their makeup artists tutting at him with a weak glare as she struts over.

He paints thin tinted lips when closes his eyes under the scowling woman's command and tries not to feel Doyoung's presence behind him.

When they finished the recordings, everyone was driven back to their home. In the car, it was silent, almost death-like. Jungwoo was trying to ignore Doyoung's thigh pressing close to his own when they get on the highway.

He was biting his lips harshly, enough so that would make their manager furious, and was switching through songs on his phone at lightning speed. Jungwoo looks around, half hoping for a distraction, but everyone was long asleep.

Only the thumping sound of the car on an uneven road and his headphones caught his ears.

Jungwoo closes his eyes, ready to delve into some terrible dream until he feels a sharp prod on his neck. Doyoung was staring at him, his short blinks spurring Jungwoo with sickening worry.

Doyoung almost never chooses to sit in the back and when Jungwoo saw him there scrolling through his phone he nearly had a heart attack. There must've been a reason.

"You know about um...him."

Doyoung barely lets him think before he goes on a tangent. His tangents were endless and passionate, constantly running even when the listener has gone tired, but he barely hears his voice in the car.

"The truth is...um," He said slower and slower with each short pause.

"Taeyong already told me."

Jungwoo wasn't sure if he had to throw Taeyong under the bus, but Doyoung nearly snorts and he takes it as a small victory. He can't remember the last time he heard him laugh freely.

"Taeyong likes running his mouth, huh?" Doyoung whispers, his lips grazing a smile. His eyes look out at the window and unlike the calm resonance of his voice, his neck stiffens.

"What happened before was um...worse than I imagined."

Jungwoo nods and ushers him to continue.

"He was dating a few other people in groups, long before I came along. It was almost like some scheme when Taeyong told me about it, but he told me his company made him do it."

He tries to make sense of it, but all the rage in his head was taking away the small sensical part of his mind's ability to think.

An unpopular group would stir sympathy from him except Jungwoo was pretty sure he saw the guy win in an awards show before. Doyoung wasn't stupid either, yet he still went through with the relationship.

"He didn't approach me that much in the beginning, but he texted a lot and he was really funny and even remembered my birthday," Doyoung continues to go on, his voice ending in a ragged whisper.

Jungwoo hates to see him so weak and fragile. The regret in his eyes was so painfully clear he wants to smash the guy's face to the ground or at least burn his hair a little, it was an awful magenta color.

He inches towards Doyoung and grabs his hand, tightly squeezing it. Doyoung stiffens, but his eyes were still glued to the window.

"I know its dumb and I know-"

"It's not dumb. He was trying to use you for his own wants. You liked him, but he was only trying to take something out of your relationship. You don't have to feel stupid. You aren't."

Doyoung stays silent for a while and the only thing they hear is the weak buzz of the streets. He shuffles in his seat and Jungwoo can feel a head of hair brush his neck.

"Thanks, Jungwoo."

"You're welcome."

Jungwoo watches Doyoung for a moment after they quiet. He was asleep now and the way he was almost scowling in his dreams brings the tiniest pulse of joy in his heart.

The lights on the street were beginning to become brighter and Jungwoo takes note of the weak linen scent before he closes his eyes.

 

Drinking was frankly uncommon for them. Many of them were poor drinkers and at least half of them held grudges over the many photos on their phones. Of course, that never stopped them.

NCT Dream, now six, sat in their separate table with their manager, busily cooking all the meat. Donghyuck was helping occasionally, but he was trying to take a picture of Mark's burning face.

The poor kid was already out of it after a few shots he had with Jaehyun.

The night was shortened for safety reasons and Jungwoo passes his leftover bottle to awaiting hands. He didn't enjoy the burn of alcohol, but it did wonders for his brain.

Everything was foggy and he could barely make out the sharp lines of the door when he walks through it as if he dunked his head into swamp water. Jungwoo makes sure to sit in the back and to his unfortunate surprise, Doyoung was already curled up beside the car. 

He sits away from him, their legs at least a handspan away until Mark comes lumbering towards them.

Mark was squeamish, expanding and shrinking his body every few seconds. His face was becoming ashier too and Jungwoo offers him some space.

But with the luck that exudes out of Jungwoo, he blacks out. Or at least he thinks he did. 

Jungwoo finds himself on something hard, his face planted on the side of a couch. He groans for his aching head and the pulsing pain of every muscle in his neck.

After a quick look around, he can't recognize the room. It was clean and very empty except for the leather couch his cheek peeled off of and the dim desk to the left of a door.

His stomach squirms and grumbles, but the phone he finds in his hand beeps, once per second like a ticking hourglass for the hell nearing him in a minute. The feeling was unsettling, profoundly so, and he opens the cracked screen. Jungwoo hopes it wasn't the manager.

And much to his luck, it was not the manager.

"We need you to be alive by 12 today," A voice message mutters, low and incredibly hoarse.

Jungwoo freezes, his entire body beginning to numb when the words hit him. He answers with a quick okay and his usual thumbs up before shutting his phone off.

Everything was coming back to him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CLIFFHANGER
> 
> I am so sorry for the late update, but I hope it was more interesting
> 
> This chapter is long overdue, but I kept changing the plot line
> 
> The first ones were similar still and I am so sorry if you looked forward to this
> 
> The next one might be the last, but I am not sure
> 
> I will see you in a few months????


	5. 7 PM

Jungwoo doesn't exactly remember how they got on a bench that night, but he found himself in a park with him. Doyoung was explaining the weird ways fast food industries made their fries. His eyelashes fluttering as he goes on about hydropower and potatoes. Though he talked with the vocabulary variability of a high school English teacher, his arms were flailing around Jungwoo. Every once in a while he would break into a fit of giggles and it was nice to hear.

Until Doyoung moves towards him. Jungwoo takes a second to rationalize, but his lips have already jutted closer.

It was a chaste kiss but still on the lips. He recalls hands moving through his hair, messing up the neat straightened locks. Doyoung was in his lap, his long legs hanging from the missing piece of wood between the seat and the back support. They continued kissing in sync, taking careful notice of each breath and groan between them. Jungwoo can feel great heat radiating off of him and the teasing way Doyoung pressed against him was exhilarating enough for him to go further.

Doyoung's lips tasted sweet, almost artificially so. Maybe the ice cream he ordered not so long ago. His tongue was laced with icy vanilla and watered down whiskey. It was intoxicating. Completely unforgettable until this groggy morning the day after Doyoung made a move.

Jungwoo taps a finger on his lips in horror. _They had actually kissed, they_ _drunkenly kissed._

The couch he was on wasn't in 127's dorm, but U's dorm thankfully. Jungwoo would've been woken up by Yuta if that were true. The clock was still pointing at 10 so there were a good 2 hours for him to freshen up before going to the salon to meet everyone else.

_Now what?_

Jungwoo takes for the shower and the first hour passes easily. In the next hour he went ordered food and by the time the manager comes, Jungwoo nearly forgets what happened yesterday. Nearly.

The schedule Jungwoo later learns was to volunteer once more. Simple enough

They would do some community service, pose for a photo, and go home once the two hours were over.

In the car, he sits in the furthest seat from Doyoung's usual shotgun and plays music before anyone else gets here. The song was upbeat and bright to keep his expression peppy, but it worked only for the first 3 minutes. The next song was a depressing, unrequited love ballad with long, emotional notes of despair. Nothing out of the usual considering his luck and he curses himself when they reach 127's dorm once the first chorus starts.

Doyoung was the last to get in so he sat at the front like always. Mark was squished next to Jungwoo so he takes advantage to annoy him as cutely as possible. He needed the distraction.

Mark's embarrassed burning ears and weak pushing was funny enough for Johnny to start laughing and the ambiance of the car was surprisingly happy. Not in a drunken way like their late night escapade yesterday.

The only exception was Doyoung. His eyes were solely trained on his phone throughout the entire time he sat in the seat. Jungwoo couldn't see the screen from the back, but Taeyong was also furiously tapping his screen. He was easier to read except his focus was driving a wrinkle on his forehead and when he looks up, Jungwoo snaps his neck toward the window. Out of the corner of his eye, Taeyong talked to the manager and gave a glance at him before tapping on his phone again.

Doyoung sighs, loud and clear, above all the music and chatter.

An unsettling weight drops in Jungwoo's stomach.

Volunteering forced the two close to each other, but Mark provided a distraction on Jungwoo's side and Doyoung glued his elbow to Johnny. Not literally of course. Johnny was teasing Doyoung about his shirt and chuckles when Doyoung whines over the amount of water splashing on to him.

"My shirt's getting all wet," Doyoung practically mewls to Johnny. His lip was pursing prettily and the annoyance in his eyes was more than adorable.

"Sorry, sorry," Johnny graciously laughs. He grabs a towel on the counter and gingerly wipes on Doyoung's shirt. His hands didn't stray anywhere further than the purple fabric, but the intensity of his gaze on the task crawled under Jungwoo's skin.

Johnny dabs the now wet towel on Doyoung's face and he shrieks. Doyoung snatches the towel and Johnny laughs as Doyoung swats him with more aggression than necessary.

They laugh in unease with one another and Taeyong catches his eye. Jungwoo scowls and looks down at the dishes. He needs to clean all of them. Every single one. His hand aimlessly follows his brain's orders.

_Soak, sud, scrub, rinse. Soak, sud, scrub, rinse. Soak, sud, scrub, rinse. Soak, sud, scrub, rinse._

"Hey."

Jungwoo doesn't jump out of his skin, but his heart sink into a deeper cavern. Taeyong wasn't furious or anything and only the heavy worry in his eyes brings Jungwoo's attention away from the dishes. He wants to say 'what' like nothing has happened over the past few months. Like Taeyong was only there to spot check the shininess of every dish.

Instead, he tilts his head. No smile. Taeyong gets the message nevertheless.

"I know you might like him and possibly..."

Taeyong stops there. His sight shifts behind Jungwoo and Jungwoo's chest races with anticipation.

"You mean..." Jungwoo tries to say until his voice cracks. It was barely a whisper so Doyoung can't understand the waves of emotion Jungwoo was currently feeling.

Taeyong nods, but his eyes turn icy.

"I know you mean well and I doubt this would change whatever decision you are making, but I want to make sure you won't break his heart. Or yours. I know you liked him for a long time, but Doyoung holds back his emotions and..."

Jungwoo stops him there.

"I know what to do. You can trust me."

He never thought Taeyong, the almost-leader of NCT and Doyoung's best friend, was going to give him his blessing. Taeyong was definitely apprehensive about all of this and had given Jungwoo difficult words to swallow, but when he stands in front of him with acceptance shining from his obsidian eyes Jungwoo felt enormously thankful Doyoung had such a good friend beside him.

After Taeyong awkwardly hugs him with his wet rubber gloves, Jungwoo watches Doyoung. He wasn't with Johnny anymore and stood alone by the counter, wiping down the dishes, with the afternoon light grazing his hair. A sliver of sun touches his eyelashes and nose and Jungwoo can't help noticing the pretty shadows Doyoung was unintentionally making when he shuffles around.

The hustle of work was still present, but Jungwoo feels a stillness when he observes Doyoung. He takes a breath and strides toward him. Taeyong has given his approval and if he was sure it was a requited it must be.

Except Doyoung hears his steps. He frantically twists his head and tries to slip away, but Jungwoo was sure they needed to talk. Doyoung eyes him head-on with a sour line on his face. Jungwoo was rather frail, but at least he had a height advantage. It was a bit funny to look down on his senior as when they looked cross it was adorable. That might just be Doyoung though.

"We need to talk." Jungwoo's voice was soft, but Doyoung elicits a flinch.

"Why now," Doyoung asks with a dramatic sigh. His eyes were staring at him while his fingers drum on the table. He was more than nervous, but Jungwoo takes that and the faintest rosy blush on his cheeks as a good sign.

"How about after then?" He had some free time after this and Doyoung wasn't busy either. Jungwoo already asked Taeyong.

Doyoung blinks and his eyes flit around the room. "Sure," He whispers, quieter than his shallow breath, before storming past Jungwoo in an attempt to flee. And flee he did. His legs were zooming past everyone to the bathroom. Taeyong was waiting outside with a raised brow and he pushes Doyoung in before he can notice him smiling at Jungwoo.

_It was going to be fine. Things will be fine._

The lump on his throat said otherwise, but Jungwoo's romantic sense of bliss sends him away to warm touches and lighthearted grins.

By the time they were finished cleaning up the sun was dipping below Seoul's buildings. Jungwoo never liked sunsets, but from the car's side window it was breathtaking. Colors blended seamlessly together in vibrant warmth and streaky clouds glowed aside its respective bright neighbors. Birds dotted the horizon and the trees cheered them on when the wind passes by in airy torrents.

It was pretty and Jungwoo looks to the front. Doyoung was staring at the view too, his dark, brushed hair smoldered rich amber. He turns around and when their eyes meet he doesn't whip his head back. Instead Doyoung smiles, large and gummy. There was an ecstatic amount of joy on his face, something Jungwoo wished to be permanent. His own lips start to smile and they share a long second, short and sweet until Taeyong intervenes.

 

 

 

"Why did you want to..."

Doyoung doesn't continue the sentence. He wasn't paying attention. Jungwoo was smiling too hard and it didn't take a lot for him to smile too. He doted on the boy when they were trainees. Jungwoo was still shorter than him then, no more than his shoulder. Now Jungwoo was taller than him, not by much, but Doyoung had to look up to meet eyes.

_How does Taeil live like this all the time?_

For some reason, Jungwoo dragged him to the playground by the SM building. The air was fairly warm that evening and Doyoung noticed the empty playground equipment. He decided to sit on the slide and Jungwoo stood before him with kind eyes. The playground was abandoned entirely since most kids sleep at ten so, the two were left to themselves.

Doyoung recognizes the little hints Jungwoo was giving him the past few weeks. Heck, the past few months he could see the longing and sentiment behind Jungwoo's actions. He wasn't stupid to not see the different kindness Jungwoo would show to him, but it was hard to reciprocate. There was a heavy weight on his chest whenever he imagined something might have gone wrong.

They were in a world where they were exploited for their visual appeal and some fans have gone to great lengths to stamp them as their property. Doyoung has heard and read nasty things about any idol relationships and even if the world was beginning to become more open he tasted bitter almonds when anything about romance was brought up.

Jungwoo was special though. He was diligent and resilient. People see him as a bit more timid, feminine, and weak than average, but Doyoung sees the mental strength he carried and expanded throughout the years. Being an idol wasn't easy and crying took more strength than people really know. Sometimes Doyoung wished he cried instead of holding himself back. It would save some of his heartaches.

Taeyong had told him earlier to be careful. Older and supposedly wiser, he warned him about having a relationship and nagged Doyoung about not speaking up. Doyoung owed Taeyong more than a hug when they finished, but some food would do.

"So, do you want to date?"

The question was simple, unromantic, and very out of the blue. Jungwoo, fortunately, looked great in basic white T-shirts and the puppy-like smile widening on his face was giving Doyoung a hard time to respond without sounding completely enamored. A simple nod does the job though.

Jungwoo bends over his hands grabbing the sides of the slide and brushes their lips together. It was enormously gentle and Jungwoo's lips were softer than Doyoung would've ever imagined. He tasted like warm sugar syrup, bright vanilla, and the slightest hint of chocolate.

It must've been hot chocolate, his stress reliever drink. Doyoung swells to have him care so much, but a sickening ache pushes him away.

Jungwoo stands still from the loss of contact. He stood no more than a meter away yet his eyes looked incredibly sad, not to mention his lips were pouting again. Doyoung giggles when Jungwoo grabs him into his chest. His arms are warm, unsurprisingly solid, and felt more like home than his bed. It would be wrong for him to drag Jungwoo to his bed for the sake of Mark so Doyoung will be joyful just to room with him elsewhere.

He breathes in his shampoo and nostalgia hits him once more.

Hugging was so reminiscent of years ago. Jungwoo, despite his talents, was erratic whenever they had to perform for evaluations. It would take long minutes of soothing words and light kisses before Doyoung was able to smooth out his wrinkled jitters. Now it was warped to something more.

There was a sensual layer, driving Doyoung mad rather than soft as he had with the Dreamies. He wanted Jungwoo to kiss him everywhere, explore everything he has to offer. That was the least he could do when Jungwoo was suffering so much before.

Doyoung feels his grin on his neck and the peppering of ticklish kisses brings more screeches from him. Jungwoo takes his hand delicately like he was the epitome of holiness and meshes it with his own. A hope is blooming in his eyes again and Doyoung pecks him on the forehead.

"You want to go to the amusement park, huh?"

Jungwoo laughs and pulls him right back into a kiss, the dusk night embracing them both. Their lips touch with more affection than Doyoung can normally withstand. But it was worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have finished :)))) I never thought it would take so long (Sorry about that)
> 
> Please critique if there is anything you feel needs work and thank you for reading!
> 
> Happy Holidays!

**Author's Note:**

> I still don't know whether to use their real names or stage names.
> 
> Also some things will be edited as I finish up


End file.
